50 Best Cruise Jokes, Puns and Sayings that Will Make You Laugh

50 best cruise jokes, sayings and puns

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The Ultimate Collection of Cruise Jokes, Puns and One Liners

While many of us are missing cruising and looking forward to better days, we can probably all use a laugh or two. This collection of 50 of the best cruise jokes, puns and even some funny things overheard on cruise ships, will surely give you a chuckle.

The cruise puns and sayings can also make great captions on social media, and can even be printed on cruise t-shirts and mugs as you get ready for a future cruise!

cruise joke

If you love cruise jokes, memes and cruise travel inspiration, you’ll love our Life Well Cruised facebook page!

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Short cruise jokes

Most of these cruise jokes are family friendly, so you can even teach your children any of them before your next cruise.

1. Ocean waves

What did one ocean say to the other?

Nothing. They just waved.

cruise jokes - What did one ocean say to the other
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2. Colorful Cruise ship accident

Did you hear about the red cruise ship and the blue cruise ship that crashed into each other at sea?

All the survivors were marooned.

3. Marriage trouble

I bought my wife a ticket to go on a cruise. It’s no Titanic, but I’m optimistic.

4. Latest cruise ship trend

Did you hear the latest trend is installing trampolines on cruise ships? Now everyone is jumping on board.

5. Cruise Ship Talk

What do you call an azipod that doesn’t work? 

A lazypod

6. Nervous new cruiser

A nervous first time cruiser asked the Captain, “Do ships like this sink very often?” No, replied the Captain, “Usually only once.”

7. No Leeks allowed

What vegetable isn’t allowed on cruise ships?

Leeks

8. Cruise crew joke

What’s it like working on a cruise ship?

It has it’s up and downs

Funny cruise jokes - What's it like working on a cruise ship?

9. Christmas cruise joke

Where does Santa go on vacation?

Santa Cruz

10. Marine life

Why do fish swim in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze

11. Bermuda Triangle

What would you call the Bermuda triangle if it had 4 corners? The Bermuda Wreck-Tangle

12. The friendly sea

How do we know we know the ocean is friendly?

It waves

13. Haunted cruise

What do ghosts eat on a cruise?

I-Scream

14. Mermaids

What does a mermaid use to call her friends?

A shell phone of course!

15. Cruise ship sickness

Where do sick cruise ships go?

The dock

50 Cruise jokes, puns and one liners
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Longer cruise jokes

16. On a cruise ship deck

A man is standing on deck, gazing out at the water. As the ship passes a small remote island, he spots somebody. He squints to make out what he sees – a thin, straggly man with wild looking hair. He watches as the man runs from side to side, jumps up and down and waves his arm. 

The cruise passenger turns to the captain and says “What’s up with that guy?” The captain shrugs and replies “I don’t know, but he’s happy to see us every year when we pass!”

17. Sinking cruise ship joke

A cruise ship sinks in the middle of the sea and the cruise passengers manage to escape on life boats. A woman asks the Captain “How far is the closest land?”

“3 miles”, he answers. “That’s not too bad, in which direction?, she asks.

The Captain replied “Down”

18. Inside cabin problems

A couple called down to guest services, complaining that they were stuck and couldn’t get out of their cabin. 

“What’s the issue?”, answered the purser. “There are only 2 doors”, replied the woman. “One is the bathroom and the other says Do Not Disturb.”

19. A Pirate in a Bar

A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender asks, “Hey, what’s with the paper towel?” The pirate says, “Argh, I’ve got a bounty on my head.”

What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? A nervous wreck.

20. Popular cruise comedian joke

The showers in the cruise cabins are so small, I just soap the walls and spin around a few times!

21. Advice from the ocean

Be shore of yourself, come our of your shell, take time to relax and coast, avoid pier pressure, sea life’s beauty, don’t get tide down, make waves!

50 Funniest cruise jokes

More travel jokes

22. Airplane travel

What kind of chocolate do they sell at the airport?

The plane chocolate.

23. Flight trouble

Why did the librarian get kicked off the plane?

It was overbooked

24. Emotional baggage

I told my suitcase there will be no cruise vacation this year. Now I’m dealing with emotional baggage!

Recommended: 50 Best Gifts for Cruisers 2021 (that are unique & practical)

Funny things overheard on a cruise

Cruise ship crew have been sharing some of the funny things they’ve heard cruise passengers say over the years. We’ve also heard a few things that have given us a chuckle as well.

10 Funniest things overheard on a cruise ship
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25. What time is the midnight buffet?

26. What happens to the ice sculptures after they melt?

27. To the Captain – “If you’re here, who’s driving the ship?” (please don’t say this) 

28. Do these elevators go to the front of the ship?

29. Do the crew sleep on board?

30. Is the ocean salt water?

31. When visiting Rome “I’m surprised the ruins are in such bad shape.”

32. How do we know which pictures are ours?

33. How do they get enough water to fill the cruise ship pools while out at sea?

Suggested: 25 Surprising Things You Didn’t Know About Cruise Ships

the Ultimate cruise joke collection
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Cruise puns and one liners

34. I’m struggling with jokes today, so you’ll have to put up with this one liner

Ok, in all seriousness, a good cruise pun often makes a fun, short and sweet Instagram caption, or can even be used on a personalized cruise t-shirt or mug design.

35. Cruiseitude (n)  a grumpy mood from lack of cruising

36. Thallosphile (n.) a person who loves the sea, oceans.

37. Sea you soon

38. What happens on the cruise ship, stays on a cruise ship.

39. I’m on vacation and I don’t give a ship

40. Ship happens

41. Feeling a little Nauti

42. Seas the day

43. Sea life’s beauty

44. Keep calm and cruise

45. Sorry, I was ship faced

46. Happiness comes in waves

47. Cruise hair, don’t care

48. I have no cruise control, It’s like they book themselves.

49. I need my vitamin sea

50. Whatever floats your boat

Read next: 25 Inspirational Cruise Quotes for Those Who Love Travel and Sea

Funny Cruise T-shirts, Coffee Mugs and Novelty Items

“Ship Faced” Thermal Coffee Mug

Recommended: Ship Faced Stainless Steel insulated mug (amazon link)

Cruise Mug “I’m just counting the days until my next cruise”

Seriously, this rings true for me every. single. day!

 Recommended: Cruise Funny Mug (amazon)

Cruise coffee mug “I don’t give a Ship”

 

Recommended: Funny cruise ship mug

Funny Cruise t-shirt – “Blame it on the drink package”

Recommended: Funny drink package Cruise t-shirt (see reviews on Amazon)

Final thoughts: 50 Best Cruise Jokes, Puns and Sayings that Will Make You Laugh and Smile

If you love cruising, I hope this post full of cruise jokes and sayings gave you a little pick me up. If you’re a bit sentimental, and are missing cruise life these days, check out this popular post full of the best cruise travel quotes.

Another post you might enjoy, if you’re a lover of the sea is: 25 Inspirational Ocean Quotes for Those That Love the Sea

Do you have a funny cruise joke, pun or story to share? Please let me know and share in the comments below.

Happy cruising!

Ilana xoxo

P.S. If you’ve enjoyed this post, please don’t keep it to yourself ;-). Please share it with a friend on Facebook or save for later on Pinterest. Thanks so much!

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2 Comments

  1. October 29, 2020 / 7:58 pm

    51 What are cruisers favorite cookies? Ships Ahoy. I know it is bad. I think it is as good as yours.

    • October 31, 2020 / 2:36 am

      I love it!! I really did laugh out loud. I agree – just as bad, or good, as mine 😉

      Cruise jokes can be corny, right? Thanks Russell!

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